Finding Faith and Joy

I don't often write about this topic, but It's been weighing on my mind lately and I feel pulled to write about it.

My faith isn't something I openly share and talk about, partly because it is so personal, and partly because I still feel new on my journey with my faith.

I'll be the first one to admit that my relationship with God has been off and on. My family didn't attend church regularly when I was younger, but I did attend a christian summer camp that was the highlight of my summers. I recently was baptized into the Catholic church and the hubby and I have been attending the church in my community. But, I still haven't felt super connected to my own faith and it's been weighing on my mind and heart a lot lately.

I've always longed for a deeper relationship but have felt 'too new' or like I didn't belong. I've been doing some searching for something, anything, to quench my thirst for knowledge and a sense of belonging. I feel almost ashamed to talk about my faith, to share my longing for more, for a deeper connection and understanding.

I've dabbled in bible journaling {and probably still will} and recently perused the library for some books. I stood overwhelmed by the choices at the library and just started pulling books whose titles appealed to me. Let me tell you if, you haven't been to the library, its a GOLD MINE! I read Found by Micha Boyett. Read isn't a good enough word. Devoured. I devoured that book. It spoke straight to my self doubting, hard on myself, God craving heart. Her book has inspired me to see God in the everyday. To live out the path He is laying for me with joy and peace. To work to actively seek joy. It won't come to me all pretty and neat, tied with a bow; I have to find it. I have to see the amazing world around me and stop being afraid.

In the moments after I closed the book, I sat with hot tears streaming down my face. I don't have to try so hard. There are no prerequisites to believing, you just do it. My faith isn't dependent on others, it's dependent on me. I know there will be moments when I struggle and can't find the joy and beauty in the world around me. But, I know I'm on the path to really discovering my faith and who I am in my faith.

With that I'm off to devour my next book, but I have a favor to ask of you dear readers (are you out there??) Do YOU have any books to recommend to me? A favorite bible study or devotional? A blog to read? Send them my way in the comments!

For now,

Kari