That time in life between Married and Kids

Yeah, I know I've been married for like .5 seconds but it seems like the moment you get married people start asking you when you are going to have kids.

If you are married, you probably remember that relative that asked you that just mere hours since you said "I Do" while you were still beaming at the fact that you had just married your love. It's a little bit of a smack in the face when you are repeatedly asked this question as a newly wed. The pressure to have kids right now is everywhere, whether is is said out loud as a question out of pure curiosity or the silent pressure we place upon ourselves to fit into the idea that we need to have kids NOW.

It's a silent tug-of-war in my head on a daily basis. You are almost 30!! You are ONLY 29. You just got married. You have plenty of time. What if we have trouble? I want a dog, but I want a baby. I'm not ready. I could be a mom. HOLY CRAP, THIS IS SCARY! eh, you can do it!

Like I said, it's a silent struggle. Life is short in a beautifully long sort of way. Often we rush to do the things society pressures us to do, what we are supposed to do without thinking about what is right for us. Do I know what the right decision is for myself? {and obviously my husband and our future} Maybe not right now. Do I think about it all the time HECK YES. We are a young couple with lots of love to give, and a lot of life before us. I know that ultimately the decision isn't just mine alone and the blessing of raising a child is one that is not one made by J and I alone. I know that the plans for our life together are held dearly by the Big Guy upstairs and we have to trust in his plan.

Something I am working on is slowing down and figuring out what the best decision is for me in that moment. What makes me happy? What will serve my life best? What will bring me and my family joy? {There is more to this internal dialog that digs WAY deeper than this, but that's for another time}

For now...The silent tug-of-war rages on, but I will delight in knowing I can spend this time building my relationship with my husband and trust that when the time is right, children will be a part of our family! 

For now,

K